Plaid and Plagiarism

Plaid and Plagiarism was a disconnect for me.  There were too many descriptive phrases per page instead of action. For instance, Obsessive Outlanders and Born Again Braveheart were one of 10 descriptions on a page.  "Janet and Christine made comforting bookends for the young women in between them." "You didn'task Rab why he rabbited off the harborwall." " I didn't want to ask about his Nessie boxers." "Ooh, is that one of those fancy instant-hot, instant-cold, instant ooh-la-la taps?"  "Let's put the unsavory bits to bed." What the heck do these descriptions mean? I guess the book was written for a UK audience as the author has used many words that only the British use.

Also, the run-up to the murder itself made no sense.  Our two main characters were searching someone's house because it had been trashed. The body was found elsewhere, in a shed, and I did not see the connection between spending 20 pages on searching the house and one sentence on the shed. In addition, when they were peeking into the windows of the house?  Why did they call the police for an emergency when they saw a person move inside the house?  Perhaps the person lived there. Afterward they entered the house to see if more than the kitchen was trashed. Why? This was not connected to the body in the shed and there didn't seem to be any reason why they could enter this house.

What is the book supposed to be about? The publisher's blurb refers to two friends opening a bookshop and they are going to be amateur sleuths solving a murder. Nothing else is written about the plot in the blurb and I can only assume that even the publisher doesn't see any plot action. 

It seems to me that this book is all setting descriptions and no plot. Perhaps the author was trying to set some groundwork for a new cozy mystery series. However, the book was too dull for me to even consider reading any future books in the series.