Well Behaved Indian Women

Well Behaved Indian Women is Saumya Dave's debut novel.  It is fantastic! Delving into the issues of Indian American culture, Dave explores a mother and daughter's relationship in America. Their origins from India play heavily into how they communicate and how they feel about their lives.  The book is also a family saga as the lives of three generations of women are explored.

The story begins with Simran Mehta always feeling that she is being harshly judged by her mother, Nandini, especially when it came to her writing hobby.  Nandini emigrated to American with her new husband twenty five years ago where she had her children. As a first generation American, Simran was expected to have a professional career. While she is working on a Masters Degree in Psychology Simran drops out of school to pursue journalism. During this time she is planning a wedding to her childhood sweetheart Kunal. They are expected to marry because they have been a couple for a long period of time. However, when Simran meets an Indian celebrity writer sparks fly.

Nandini, on the other hand, has spent her life putting others ahead of her own life. She wants to create an easy life for her children as well as her in-laws.  Nandini has provided her husband's demanding family everything they desire, including free medical treatment.  She also has had to endure the casual racism of her patients. When a colleague offers Nandini a job in another city she has to consider whether to pursue her dream job or focus on being the perfect Indian wife.

Grandmother Mimi Kadakla lives in India. She feels that she has failed her daughter Nandini but has a chance to support her grand-daughter Simran in whatever life Simran wants to live. As life begins to pull Nandini and Simran apart, Mimi is determined to be the bridge that keeps them connected, even as she deals with her own secret burden, an illness. 

I loved this novel.  I read through it in two hours and couldn't put it down. It was interesting to see how these women were trained from birth to be people pleasers, a common trait among Indian women. They all put their dreams on hold to fulfill family expectations, usually expectations that they were not on board with. I cannot imagine doing this myself and wonder why none of these women rebelled against tradition. In addition, the concept of arranged marriages is explored here. The reader learns the pros and cons from how these women's arranged marriages affected their lives.  

Several reviewers have said that books like this one confirm stereotypes of Indian women.  I disagree. It seems to me that when you deny the cultural traits of a given people, you are denying their distinctions in favor of political correctness. People are different. We all know that. The customs and mannerisms that we see of residents from other nations should be celebrated not used to further divide us. We can be multiculturally sensitive without rejecting the culture itself.

5 out of 5 stars!